I woke the other morning and read this crazy story that the zodiac signs are all changing and actually needed too, perhaps, through the ages. Any how the funny part of my brain made me thing that the classic pick up line “what’s your sign” has made a huge comeback due to the change of the Zodiac signs and charts. I know, I know, this news may be especially hard to hear for Libra’s, who crave balance and order. Or Leo’s, whose sense of self is strong. Gemini’s, both sides of you may be rocked.
Are you sitting down? Good. Because the zodiac has changed. What you long believed was your astrological sign may not be your astrological sign.
And, a bunch of us now have wack tattoos.
The dates for the Western zodiac calendar have, it turns out, shifted, with each one starting later — like, a lot later. If you were a Capricorn born in early to mid-January, you’re now a Sagittarius.
Cancers born in early to mid-July? Stop being such emotional cry-babies. You’re actually Geminis.
Oh, and there’s a new 13th astrological sign now: Ophiuchus. Sounds like a “Matrix” character, we know. But those of you born between Nov. 29 to Dec. 17, you’re all now Ophiuchus-es.
NASA broke the news early this year in a blog post that explained that when ancient Babylonians created the zodiac over 3,000 years ago, they wanted dates on the calendar to correspond with star constellations. But, there were 13 constellations, and they were working with a 12-month calendar. So they ditched Ophiuchus.
NASA also pointed out that the Earth’s axis doesn’t even point in the same direction as it did when the original constellations were drawn, so all our signs have different date ranges now anyway.
In other words: astrological chaos. And the science nerds at NASA don’t even care that they’ve upended our lives. They released a statement last week explaining, “Here at NASA, we study astronomy, not astrology. We didn’t change any zodiac signs, we just did the math.”